Home > Caring For Children > Building Confidence in Children

Building Confidence in Children

By: Maggie Lonsdale BA (hons) - Updated: 7 Mar 2015 | comments*Discuss
 
Confidence Self-esteem Children Building

The importance of building confidence in kids cannot be over-estimated. Confidence and self-esteem are the foundations on which a healthy life can be built, with many studies highlighting how a lack of self-confidence can cause a great many issues later in life.

Children with confidence are able to enjoy stronger relationships, are able to trust their own instincts more often and are less likely to get into trouble or addictive behaviour cycles.

For parents, if your own parents were not particularly good at building your confidence when you were a child, it can be hard to know what you need to do and what you need to avoid in order to give your child the most positive start in life.

Here are some guidelines to help you build confidence in children.

Believe in Your Child

Talk to them in a positive way and expect the best from them. When you talk to your child, use affirmative language that does not over-estimate their potential achievements but certainly highlights that you believe they are able to achieve their goals, whether that is good marks in a spelling test or swimming a length of the swimming pool. Be careful not to have too high expectations or the child will fear failure. If something goes wrong, you can talk about what could be done differently next time as long as you keep a positive tone.

Praise and Positive Feedback

When your child has achieved something new or done something well, make sure you are vocal in your praise. This is an area that child development experts often disagree on as over-praising minor events has been criticised for producing children with an unrealistic sense of entitlement. You will know what a good achievement is for your child, so make sure you give plenty of praise and positive feedback.

Criticise the Behaviour, Not the Child

This could also come under the heading ‘Be Specific’. If your child is being badly behaved, rather than saying ‘You are being a very naughty girl’, it is better for building confidence to be specific about what it is about their behaviour that is naughty, rather than calling the child naughty. So it is better to say ‘It is naughty to scribble over your brother’s drawing’.

Encourage Independence

It is very difficult to get the balance right in encouraging independence in your child because you want to protect them from any possible dangers, but it is widely accepted that a child that feels trusted and capable to do certain things by themselves is far more likely to have good self-esteem.

What constitutes appropriate activities for your child will depend on where you live, their age, what you have already taught them (such as crossing the road) and what you think they are comfortable with, but you need to keep pushing these boundaries.

A good rule of thumb is to talk to your child and assess what they feel capable of in relation to what you think is acceptable. If, for example, your child wants to walk to the corner shop alone to buy some sweets, you need to look at whether they will need to cross a road, if you know people locally, how busy it is likely to be and so on. Remember that small milestones encourage independence too, so even if you feel your child is not ready to go to the local shop alone, you do not need to spell this out to the child, but you could say that you can walk there together but you will wait outside while they buy their sweets.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Really great piece of summary for child confidence building. It is very well written too. Thanks very much.
Abdulahi - 7-Mar-15 @ 8:42 AM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Topics
Latest Comments
  • sammie
    Re: DBS Checks
    29 year ago I got 12 months suspended sentence on insightment to cause assult I am applying for a job as a kitchen supervisor will my dbs come back with…
    15 February 2019
  • Shell
    Re: Becoming a Special Needs Volunteer
    I would like to be a volunteer for special needs children or adults iv got 3 grandchildren with special needs so I think…
    14 February 2019
  • Chris
    Re: Becoming a Childminder
    Hi I have NVQ 2 in adult social care can I use this to become a child minder As want to change my career Thank you
    10 February 2019
  • mel
    Re: Working With Young Offenders
    Hello , My name is melissa, im 14 and i go to huish episcopi school and am looking for a work experience placement . Would you…
    4 February 2019
  • Iza
    Re: Becoming a Special Needs Volunteer
    Hi, I am looking to volunteer to work with special needs children in school from September in Berkshire or…
    29 January 2019
  • Amy
    Re: The Girl Guides, Brownies and Rainbows
    For rainbows your child as to be 5 LC
    11 January 2019
  • Amy
    Re: The Girl Guides, Brownies and Rainbows
    I'm looking for a rainbows group for my daughter in Blackburn anyone know were there is any
    11 January 2019
  • Tez
    Re: Working at a Children's Home
    Hi, I'm 43 with 3 children. I've always worked with children since leaving high school- TA And play work. I graduated in 2016…
    10 January 2019
  • Beant
    Re: Becoming a Special Needs Volunteer
    Hi I’m Beant and I’m 40 already have 2 kids but also have deaf siblings I have always wanted to work with special needs…
    4 January 2019
  • Beant
    Re: Voluntary Work in Schools
    Hello my name is beant and I would love to volunteer working with children to give back to the community! I work for a agency working…
    4 January 2019